I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
