You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
