I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
