He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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