there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize