just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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