First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize