I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
