its not stalking. its research.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize