Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
