sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
