So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
