So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
