I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
