And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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