we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
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