this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
