I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize