Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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