I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
