Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
