Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
