It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
