We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
lol hangovers are for mortals.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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