Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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