Pants 0. Shit 1.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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