you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
