Me too!
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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