All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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