also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
