Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
It's shark week go big or go home
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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