I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize