i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize