Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
