wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
A+ Viking dick
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
