You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
