i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Randomize
