3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
