You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
