What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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