I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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