Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
