I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
