well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
