i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
