is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
