Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
