Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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