Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
