I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
