no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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