Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
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