I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
