wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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