yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
