Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
