You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
