I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I think people are normalizing furries
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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