I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
