I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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