apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
