Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
